We custom ordered these paintings from Angela Allen because we saw a variation of them that she had done and put on instagram and fell in love with the street art look of them, but it wasn’t until a friend of mine noted that they were lyrics the 1994 one hit wonder by Des’ree, in which she sang “You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiiiissser” (for those uninitiated, here), that I realized I was already all too familiar with these words. I honestly don’t know how those glaringly obviously lyrics had not immediately auto-corrected into the melody in my head the instant I read the words, but since then they have become a timely mantra for me as I brave my way into the dark world of unemployment. Let’s go back.
I moved to New York working for a job that I really liked, but when I transferred to the New York office, I was miserable. It just wasn’t the right fit for me, and I really wanted to get into the beauty world. I called up one of my favorite companies (yes, literally just picked up the phone and called and pretended that LinkedIn and general e-mail inboxes didn’t exist) and asked to work for them. As all good miracles go, I got the job and the next 9 months were filled with pure, unadulterated joy, immense anxiety and more growth than any job could ever provide one person. Taking into account the obvious comparison between the length of my tenure there and the length of a normal pregnancy, I would say that this pregnancy was the kind where after a woman gives birth she can’t believe she’s alive and done- “I did it, I made it and somehow I am alive and feeling 5 years wiser at the end.” You have to understand that just because something can give you immense trials doesn’t mean that you didn’t love the process the entire time. In fact, I did. I loved my time there, I loved it so much that if I expressed to you how I felt about my time there, you would immediately discredit me for lying because no one ever believes such emphatic statements. But I did, I really did. However, despite the immense professional and personal growth that I gained, there comes a time when those trials can feel more like anxiety attacks than growth and you begin to feel that maybe you’ve learned all that you came to learn and that you can move on with a thankful heart and a fresh perspective on business.
This wasn’t a quick decision, or an easy one, and it involved a lot of painful and thought provoking conversations that turned into sleepless nights and caffeine fueled days. On day 5, as I was about to go into another meeting, the words “Bad, Bold, Wise” popped into my head as a quiet reminder that this should be my approach. To be bad in my demeanor (not shame on you bad, but confident bad), to be bold in my convictions and to be wise in my strategy. There is no second guessing. Bad, Bold, Wise. These three words became my guiding light that took me out of a seemingly overwhelming situation and reminded me that this was no bigger than anything else I’d dealt with before, just a new challenge with a new lesson to learn.
So here I am, sitting on my couch on a Tuesday morning just figuring out what comes next. I’m taking the rest of August off to rest and reset and strategize and make a smart next step. But you know what, I’m having a great time. Despite having just had my 26th birthday and living in one of the most expensive cities in the world, I’m so full of faith. I’m starting this next phase of life off with a healthy anticipation of what God’s doing in me and through me. I am spending the next 17 days digging into my creativity and trying new things. I’m going to reorganize my book shelves and learn to cook something new and take Pilates at 2 in the afternoon. I’m going to hang out with my husband and start a new project with him and I’m going to enjoy every second of rest that I can get before I am launched into what comes next.
Be bad, be bold, be wise, everything kind of depends on it.