Three weeks ago my skin was the best that it has been in years. I had gotten a facial by this incredible Russian woman who finished and said, “Get up and look at your skin: I’ve performed magic.” And she’s right, she really had, my skin was glowing. A couple days later I went to work and my co-workers all said, “Oh my gosh! Your skin looks incredible! What did you do?!” I said, “Oh just my Russian facialist, that’s all.” As if she’s my Russian facialist, it was given to me as a gift and I needed to use it, but that’s neither here nor there. I walked around that week with such extreme confidence that I almost didn’t recognize myself. Where had the insecure, always conscious of her skin girl gone?
My skin today, just three weeks later, is the worst it’s been in about nine months. Completely out of no where I am breaking out in ways that are both humiliating and actually just really painful. I have always been open with you guys about my struggle with my skin, so I wanted to share this part with you too. The girl that walked out with her head held high just three weeks ago is no where to be found. Instead, I find myself looking down when I walk and hardly looking people in the eye because I feel like my skin is the first thing people notice. But you know, it only is if I let it be.
I had a really great conversation with my best friend last week. We were talking about how every woman has that one something that keeps her from feeling really great about herself, but instead of working on it, changing it and overcoming it, we let that one thing dictate who we are. We overlook everything else that is great about ourselves, our drive, our passion, our talents, and instead focus on that one problem and let it become our message. It becomes out guiding light, our story, the only thing we let people know about us.
What if this is happening to remind me that being a woman isn’t about focusing on your tiny flaws, what if instead it’s about learning what confidence is despite them? Why do we, as women, cut ourselves off from the world because we recognize something that we’d like to change? We need to rethink our definition of confidence and what it really means. Confidence should come from knowing that you’re a powerful woman that’s capable of changing the world. It should come from knowing that you have something to bring to the table in every conversation, situation and relationship. It should not be defined by your least favorite flaw, but instead that flaw should be overcome by your confidence. I know that we all have something, and it’s there and we’re aware of it and sometimes it won’t go away and it’s not for lack of trying (believe me), but today I really want to challenge us as women to find a confidence that isn’t tied to just one tiny little thing we wish was different.
I look at the women in my life and they are remarkable. They are well educated, beautiful and they make me so damn proud. They are intellects with talents and ideas and they are dreamers that will run with me as we do something great for this world. You know that you’re that same woman too. Look, here’s what it comes down to: being a woman is so much fun, and the way that I look at it we all have two choices: we can choose to focus on every thing that makes us incredible or we can choose to shrink back into our insecurities. Your choice, really. But from this point on out, I am choosing to celebrate the wins and live in the confidence of the rest of my talents and abilities, whether my skin is perfect or not, and I want you to do the same.
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