I had mentioned in part 2 that the rain had actually stopped before our wedding, and in its wake it left a perfectly breezy, albeit humid, August night. Had I been willing to see it then, the air and the sky looked almost ethereal; almost sacred and surreal. Our reception was held inside the horse corral under strung lights where everyone sat at authentic farm tables that my Dad had made completely on his own. We ate the best food {Southern fried chicken, Truffle Mac & Cheese, Shrimp & Grits, Cornbread and Green beans}, drank great wine, greeted all our guests {who all made note of how incredible it was that the weather held off} did our dance and had a little bit of cake. The sound of my guest’s laughter put me in an incredibly calm and happy state of being. I couldn’t believe I was married and everyone we’ve ever loved was in one place eating great food and celebrating with us. I dragged Joe with me back up the hill to get changed into my reception dress, and wasn’t up there for five minutes when one of my bridesmaids walked in and said “Okay don’t freak out but it’s pouring rain.” Also, remember that I cancelled the tent that we had on reserve, this means that everyone was getting soaking wet.
I walked out of the house to see all of my guests leaving. You guys, this was 3 hours before we had scheduled for the night to be over. I suddenly felt like the girl who threw a boring party in high school so everyone was leaving early to go somewhere way cooler. At this point, my anxiety took me to its deepest hold. On this 3-4 minute walk down, I was no longer the special bride to anyone, as I was just something that kept them from getting out of the August downpour. No goodbyes from my guests on their way out, just people hurrying to stay dry. I said to my Uncle who was walking me down, “This is the saddest ending to the best party.” However, one guest did stop me, hug me and say, “Well, at least it held off during the most important parts!” With tears burning in my eyes I muttered out “Okay, bye.” I was literally devastated.
But the thing that was so confusing to me was that the DJ was still playing music and I could hear people yelling. The closer I got to the lights I could see that all of our closest friends stayed and were having the time of their lives. The party wasn’t over, the party was literally just beginning! The DJ turned the music up louder and I looked around and saw that my best friends from every significant point in my life were there to celebrate with Joe and I, and what else even mattered? I had told you in part 3 that my greatest expectation was to get the pictures published, and an hour into dancing, with long sopping wet hair and a completely soaked dress, I thought to myself “I don’t care about anything except how incredible this moment is.” At that point, my expectations finally met my reality. I didn’t care about the way I looked in my dress or if people liked the cupcakes, I finally let everything go and accepted what was in front of me. I wasn’t going to miss this moment. I soaked in every single second of this fun. I finally didn’t take for granted the joy that was in front of me, and my memories from those moments don’t compare to any other in my mind. I have never had that much fun. We were literally living out the best music video you’ve ever seen. To all of you who left early, I’m so sorry- you literally missed the greatest dance party of all times.
The day of my wedding, my greatest point of anxiety was the rain, and that turned out to be the greatest blessing I could have never expected. I want to remember this turning point forever, because I can’t ever let myself forget how much you miss what’s in front of you when you let yourself always believe that it could be better. I don’t want to have expectations anymore, I want to live in my reality and love what I see. Because the thing is, when I got my pictures from Marta and saw the day as everyone else saw it, I finally understood that my expectations were too small for how great the reality of the night truly was.
{Pictures in a separate post!}
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