Since moving to New York three months ago, I’ve had roughly 1009 ‘duh’ moments- these moments where a couple weeks later I’m recollecting on them and I cannot believe I didn’t see it more clearly at the time. Most recently though, I’ve been thinking a lot about how easy it is to let yourself be completely defined by your circumstances. For example, I moved here with a job that I really loved and quickly began to resent. After the move it became glaringly obvious that this wasn’t the right place for me anymore and that it was probably time to move on. That’s a fairly normal circumstance, but what wasn’t okay was how I allowed my discontent to completely consume my days. I would come home from work exhausted, upset, sad that I still had to go to work the next day and would completely put that on everyone around me. So instead of rejoicing in the fact that I had a wonderful husband who loved and supported me, family and friends that make the world go around, a roof over my head and food to eat, I put my happiness completely in who I was, as determined by my job, not by everything else wonderful that makes up my life as Elizabeth.
My husband is so good at not being this person. He doesn’t ever lose sight of why he’s here and what he wants to do, regardless of what it takes to get there. But no matter how many times I told myself that I needed to shake it off and move forward and be more like Joey, I always let myself settle back into the “I’m useless” mentality that was so easy to get to. It’s just so easy to be unhappy when it feels natural, it’s so much harder to choose happiness, peace and joy, right? But who does that help? Who is that mentality benefiting? Not me, not my surroundings, not my job, not my future.
I guess the bottom line is this: you were not put on this earth to be unhappy or to sulk or to allow your circumstances to tell you who you are. Maybe instead you were put here to be really, really happy and to bring joy and to change someone elses life. Life is so sweet, and there’s no time to waste letting anything or anything tell you otherwise. I’m learning to defeat this circumstantial mentality, because I have to if I ever want to really thrive. I just have to.