Three years ago under the gloomy Virginia country sky, you married a wildly opinionated girl who would never want the same thing twice, and I married a boy so talented and brilliant that his mind becomes his own biggest hindrance. But three years ago, on that rainy Summer evening, we didn’t know anything about our shortcomings. In truth, we knew nothing about marriage, about struggle, about how selfish one becomes after they’ve just committed their life to being selfless for the sake of another person. All we knew was that we were solidifying a relationship 13 years in the making – a relationship based on the most true and pure form of love two people could have for one another: friendship.
This year has been our hardest year yet. It’s been filled with disappointment, exhaustion, stress and moments that felt like quitting this complicated reality would be easier than pressing on. New York is hard, ya know? But if I could amend one thing on our vows that we made back then, I would make us promise to not give up on our dreams. I would look you in the eye and vow to unwaveringly and constantly pursue my passions to the best of my ability and to keep you accountable to always pursuing yours. To not let the weight of life keep me from working on myself daily, making myself the best version of me, so that I can be the best version of a wife for you. This year of marriage has shown me that two becoming one doesn’t mean that the two gives up on everything they wanted before becoming the one. What one person does affects the other so greatly, that letting yourself go or giving up on that which you want to accomplish is detrimental to that which they want to accomplish. Does that makes sense? That is the two becoming the one. When one fails, we both fail, but a rising tide lifts all boats, so perhaps the greatest way we can love one another is to always be bettering ourselves. I think that’s why marriages fall apart, because two people don’t want to work on themselves for the sake of someone else. They want the other person to be better, to work out more, to eat healthier, to make more money, and to pursue their wildest dreams, and yet they fail to require the same of themselves. They don’t realize that their partners success is dependent upon their ability to keep working on themselves. Through trial and fire, one has to know their way out in order to lead their partner out also.
You are my greatest joy. God blessed me greatly by allowing me to do this adventure with you. You make me a kinder, more generous, softer version of my extremely flawed self. The only person that makes me laugh just by being in the room. Year three has been harder than one or two, but I promise you in this next year to not quit. Not on my myself, not on you, not on your dreams or mine or ours. I promise to love you greater tomorrow than I do today. I vow to never quit becoming better. In sickness and in health, in Brooklyn and in happiness, through times of wanting and times of excess, through joy and sadness, I promise to build a life of faith and adventure with you for as long as I shall live.
Three years ago in the pouring rain, I said I would love you forever and I knew then that nothing could change my mind. You’re really stuck with me.
I love you to the moon and back,